There are a few things society has long decided should sit at the centre of a woman's life: marriage, babies, a snatched waist, curves, and above all, a great love story. Romance, especially, is treated as the non-negotiable axis around which everything else must revolve. If you don't have a romantic partner, the reasons are conveniently labelled: you're "too difficult", you don't fit conventional beauty standards, or you're simply not agreeable enough, or, as the ancestors would've said, a witch.
Jane Austen captured this anxiety perfectly in Pride & Prejudice: "I am 27 years old. I've no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents and I'm frightened." Centuries later, the fear still lingers. Why is it that romantic relationships and marriage are always positioned as the defining markers of a woman's life? And why does a soulmate have to be romantic at all? Why can't your friends, especially your girl friends, be your soulmates?
Charlotte York once posed this exact question in Sex and the City, telling Carrie, Samantha and Miranda: "Maybe we could be each other's soulmates. And then we could let men just be these great nice guys to have fun with." And honestly why not?
There's a reason so many books, films and TV shows centre around groups of women who stand by each other through everything. It's because these friendships are often the true romances of our lives. To see the best in someone and cheer them on, but also to witness their worst moments and stay anyway without hesitation or moral judgement is a kind of love that exists most fiercely in friendship, particularly female friendship.
TL;DR
- Romantic relationships are often prioritised, but female friendships provide deeper emotional permanence and stability.
- Shared lived experiences create intimacy, empathy, and non-judgemental support that strengthens these bonds.
- As women embrace chosen family and decentre men, female friendships are becoming their truest, most enduring love stories.
