Even though this seems like a given many people stay in relationships despite physical violence. Draw the lines and know for yourself that there is no justification for physically lashing out at your partner.
While it may start with a simple push or a hair pull, it could easily escalate within no time if not nipped in the bud.
Everybody gets upset sometimes but there are a multitude of ways of dealing with anger and negative emotions, none of which involve being physically abusive.
A partner who threatens you constantly or gives you ultimatums should be put in his place. Blaming you for all the problems, making you feel inadequate and using abusive language are all different types of emotional abuse which can sap you little by little over time. Before you know it, the cumulative effect of these has done more damage than you ever predicted.
Domination: Nobody needs a controlling partner.
“Who did you speak to?” “Where were you?” “Why did you shake hands with him?” “Where are you going?”—none of these indicate care.
Remember that you are your own person with your own life and rulebook. Questions like these imply that there need to be rules in place for both of partners. Such insecurity is often an indication of much deep-seated trust issues that will only get progressively worse with time if not dealt with at the beginning.
Your family and friends are important to you and should be treated with respect and dignity by your SO. Being moody, grumpy or right out insulting should not be taken lying down. Teasing or joking is OK up to a point but making fun of you or people you care about should not be taken lightly.
A habitual liar will lie to his family, his boss, his friends and ultimately even to you. It may seem like a NBD in the beginning because it usually starts with tiny white lies but once you find out about them, keep a close watch. They’ll get out of hang before you know it! Incessant liars do not take responsibility for their actions and cannot be trusted.
Be it emotional cheating or physical—this one’s a total no-no. Neither are they normal nor casual. You need to be with someone who values commitment and your relationship as well. As the saying goes, once a cheater always a cheater.
Throwing your past at you
All of us have a past and at some point, you’ve shared some of it with your SO. But if they throw it at you during arguments or as an excuse to blackmail you, take heed. Don’t allow it. It makes you vulnerable. Take a stand!
While relationships shouldn’t be based on physical attraction alone, sex is a big part of it. It should enjoyable for both partners in equal measure. If you don’t feel like sharing a bed with your partner or consistently think that sex is becoming less enjoyable, there might be lesser known factors at play. An occasional bad night is fine but a continuous bad time in bed should set the alarms ringing. Discuss and communicate, it is a matter for concern.
Remember, address issues as and when they occur. Ignoring problems or lack of communication will only complicate matters further.