Are You Being A Controlling Partner? Watch Out For These 6 Signs

Written by Cassandra PereiraSep 26, 2018
Are you being a controlling partner? Watch out for these 6 signs
Type A, go-getter, eager beaver… you’ve probably been referred to as one of these, as you’re perhaps the type of person who likes to have things done your own specific way. However, you could be treading on thin ice—you could be seen as controlling, and this is what could be sabotaging your relationship with your partner. Besides damaging your relationship, you could also be causing harm to your partner’s self-esteem. Now, that’s not what you want, do you? If you think you’re on this path, here are 6 signs to know for sure if you’re being the controlling one.

1. You like to constantly check your partner’s phone

4. You throw tantrums to get what you want

This is the most obvious sign of you being controlling. In this day and age, phones are one of the best ways to determine how much you trust your partner. If you can’t resist checking their phone, you’ve proven that you don’t trust them enough. This could also make your partner feel that they can’t speak to whoever they want, or can’t use their social media accounts freely—and that’s a problem.

2. You call the shots about their future

Yours and your partner’s futures may be heavily intertwined, but their future is theirs alone.  Instead them having to come to you for permission to switch jobs, or pursue new interest for example, you and them should sit down, and discuss the matter openly.

3. You interfere with their friendships

You probably don’t get along with your partner’s friends, and so, you have every right to courteously voice your opinion about them. What you can’t do is dictate who they can hang out with, and who they can’t.  In addition to this, you can’t make a big deal about them spending time with their friends, and believe they should be spending time with you, and you alone. It also isn’t a great idea to insist on going out with them and their friends—after all, your partner needs some room to breathe.


4. You throw tantrums to get what you want

4. You throw tantrums to get what you want

Do you use anger to always get your way? If you do, that probably makes your partner live in unceasing fear of what you’ll do if they defy you even in the slightest. Tantrums aren’t the only signs of using negativity to have things done the way you like. You could probably be manipulating them to get things done your way, or for example, you give them the silent treatment when you get home from work, and the dishes aren’t done.

5. You try to completely change them

This involves telling them to eat, what to wear, how to walk, and so on. Giving suggestions on outfits is one thing. Telling your partner what to wear, and expecting them to actually follow through is another. This type of control probably stems from the fact that you’re extremely conscious of the image you and your partner portray to the world, or you’re somewhat embarrassed by how they currently are. Either way, you should let your partner be who they truly are.

6. You have to have your partner with you all the time

We all want to spend as much time as we can with our partners, don’t we? But actually making them hang out with you all the time isn’t right. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you can bear to spend a little time away from your partner. But if you resort to tantrums and emotionally blackmailing your partner into spending every second of their day with you, you’re being controlling.

Cassandra Pereira

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