Red Flags You’re Dealing With An Abusive Partner

Written by Shweta Vepa VyasSep 18, 2018
Red flags you’re dealing with an abusive partner
Being in an abusive relationship is damaging in more ways than one. An abusive partner can scar their victim for life. The long term effects of abuse include low self-esteem, depression, emotional instability and in extreme cases, substance abuse and even suicidal tendencies. While the victim may move on, often, they’re unable to form healthy relationships later on in life. Whether it’s the so-called ‘love’ or the charm or power that the abuser exudes, victims are often unable to see that they’re in need of help. If you see these tell-tale signs in your or a loved-one’s relationship, it’s a red flag to get help.


Verbal abuse

Excessive domination in a relationship is often one of the early signs to watch out for. An abusive partner is usually the one calling the shots and is absolutely unwilling to compromise, whatever the situation. It could be something as simple as your weekend plans. For instance, your plans are always around his liking and interests with a complete disregard for your preferences. Such a person would also typically subscribe to stereotypical gender roles and believe that you are subservient. So, if this is a regular pattern, the relationship certainly spells trouble.


In a bid to establish control over your life, an abusive partner will try isolating you. Do you often find yourself guilt-tripping about not giving him enough time? Does your partner get jealous if you go out with your family and friends? Or, is he discouraging you about a new activity so that can you spend more time with him? If yes, this is certainly an obvious sign of emotional abuse. A relationship cannot dictate whether or not you can spend time with loved ones or do something that you enjoy.


Keeping tabs

Verbal abuse

You’ve come back from a work meeting and are greeted with multiple missed calls and texts. Unless it’s an emergency, such behaviour is certainly not acceptable. Incessant calling and keeping tabs on your daily activities are warning signs. Mutual trust, respect and space are essentials in a good relationship. If your partner can’t get over his obsession with where you are and who you’re with, it’s probably not worth it.

Extreme behaviour

Extreme behaviours are another red flag to watch out for. For instance, you may observe that your partner may range from being extremely aggressive to being very remorseful and needy. They may even resort to physical violence and then be profusely apologetic about it. Ridiculing and insulting you in public and a bad temper are other tell-tale signs.


Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse

You may overlook all the other signals but verbal abuse cannot be ignored. Constant insults and name calling is detrimental to your emotional well-being. By calling you names, the idea of the abuser is to dominate you and break down your self-esteem. Tread carefully in the early stages of your relationship. If your partner ill-treats his subordinates, animals and weaker people, it’s better to call it quits.

Physical abuse

There’s absolutely no justification for physical violence in a relationship. Your partner may come back with declarations of love, but remember, if it’s happened once, it’s likely to happen again. If you’ve been subjected to any kind of physical force, it’s definitely time to walk out. So, whether it’s you or a friend who’s suffering, get help immediately. Remember, the emotional scars of any kind of abuse are far worse than the physical ones.

Shweta Vepa Vyas

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